Pokemon Shield (15$/60$)

This post is out of order, one of the first things I drew,

Very easy to draw, makes me feel good

I started playing video games very early in life. Sometimes I forget this fact resulting in two negative things.  The first is that I assume everyone I talk to has an APM on my skill level and is a top tier gamer.  The second is that sometimes my favorite games are old games.  When in reality old games don’t stand the test of time well.  Piece of shit games that come out in 2020 are going to be better than the piece of shit games that came out in 2006 and that is okay.  It doesn’t take away my time enjoying those games.  But it also doesn’t make Goblin Commander for the Nintendo gamecube one of the best games ever made.  That’s OK.  The problem is when people say these old games are God tier, then they replay those old games and they are dog shit tier.  You remember Goldeneye?  Call of Duty is better.  You remember Glover?  A hat in time is much better.  Was Mercenaries 2 fun?  Sure but Just Cause 4 is just a better version of that game, and Just Cause 2 is better than 4.  It’s the odd thing about video games, because they get shitty with time and that shit is hard to appreciate.  You can understand that Citizen Kane is a dope movie despite being black and white because it is a true classic.  Most games aren't classics.  But there are some such as Mario 64, Metal Gear Solid 3, and a few other masterpieces. Some people put Pokemon on that list.  But to be honest, the last three games have sucked salt water. This made me think that maybe I was wrong in my love for the series.  That I was just a stupid kid who liked Pokemon.  But nope, Pokemon Ruby is just as fun today, and Pokemon HeartGold and Soulsilver make the new games look so bad that you wish they would just take a fucking break. Go back to the drawing board, and give the Switch the Pokemon game it deserves. Poke Sword and Shield get 15$/60$.  

I have to give Game Freak credit where credit is due.  This is the most they have ever changed a pokemon game.  The exclusion of Pokemon was a controversial choice to make, and fans made it seem like the biggest dick move in the entire world.  But I get it. If you had told me that the sequel to the Ocarina of Time would have a timer you had to beat the game, I would have hated that information just as much.  And Majora's Mask is one of the best Zelda’s in existence, and featured that mechanic.  But they did nothing with the changes. It really just was to make the game balanced and less overwhelming.  The next change they made was bringing over the visible encounter system that I hated to see on Let’s Go Pikachu and dreaded playing a mainline game with it.  I was a fool.  The Pokemon appearing in the overworld is definitely one of the best features.  Getting chased down by some pissed off bear Pokemon in the wild area feels intense, even if your weakest Pokemon will wipe the floor with the bear.  Seeing the Pokemon built into environments on the different routes into town is also great. I can not wait to see how they push the system in future games, and I love it as much as I did the Pokewalker.  As for the gameplay, I didn’t care much for the gimmick of making biggie Pokemon.  But it didn’t suck, felt better than Z-moves, and was nice that every Pokemon could do it unlike Mega Evolutions. That being said I’m pretty sure you could go the entire game without ever using the biggie Pokemon move, because this game is so fucking easy it is comical.

In past Pokemon games, when you saw your rival waiting for you in tall grass, you knew shit was about to go down.  You walked back to the Poke center.  Healed up, bought items, and then saved right before the battle because you knew that despite your preparations, this bitch was going to be slinging some seriously fuego Pokemon fully capable of lighting your ass up.  Same with all of the gym leaders. However, in the new games there is a plot point based around how much better you are then your rival.  But you're not just better than him.  You're better than every other trainer in the region to a historical level.  The result is that you will never need to grind when playing this game.  But not all grinds are bad.  Lacking grinds in a Pokemon game hurts the game because it gives you less of a reason to explore the world.  In past Pokemon games, the game put up confusing and difficult walls to get the player to look for help in the areas they had gone to in the past.  Maybe you picked Bayleaf in HeartGold and you're getting stomped by the first flying gym because nearly every Pokemon available before then is grass, bug, or normal type.  So you catch one of those shit tier bellsprouts and trade it for the Onix with rock moves that will take down the gym with ease.  If you can just beat the gym your first try, you don’t get the Onix and you don’t explore the town to find the secrets and helpful design choices the developers put into the game. When you don’t explore, the world feels empty, sad, and the setting seems shittier than the past games.  I think this is the result of not including the metroidvania style HM system of the older games.  Those alone encouraged the player to explore and to backtrack to previously closed off areas.  It’s a damn shame it’s gone.

The other problem is that the world doesn’t just seem shitter, it is shitter.  If you enjoyed Pokemon for the charm of it’s towns.  The small stories that would play out in them, or the history behind them.  Too bad so sad this game will make you mad.  It’s not that there isn’t a story, wait no there isn’t a story. As in there is no conflict.  No antagonist.  No bad guy or true rival that will piss you off and push you to be the best.  Instead, it feels like an on the rails anime ride at Pokemon theme park.  A ride that makes one think the developers dreamt to it be fully voiced with handcrafted cinematics, but quickly realized they lack the budget or skill or time needed to add such features.  Confronted with this problem, the developers decided to do the bare minimum..  In past Pokemon games they leave things to the unknown. Like Mariage Island in Ruby.  Abandoned power plants in Fire Red.  Or the dragon cave in Diamond and Pearl.  They are all there, have optional lore to learn, and play a part in the story but do not require an in depth explanation by characters who simply pop up out of nowhere and mime out actions in cutscenes that scream for voiced characters..  That is not to say the world is visually boring.  The graphics have never been better but every cool location is hollow with no purpose..  

Now to go onto the online features, which are the worst they could possibly be.  The whole entire game they tease you with a pseudo MMO feel to include seeing other players in the wild area and multiplayer raids.  If only you were able to interact with these other players outside of these systems.  Or maybe they could just make it easy to invite your friends to a raid, instead of playing a game wifi whack a mole trying to join the right raid at the right time as your friend hosts.  To get four players all synced up is almost impossible, and once you finish the raid you need to jump through all of those hoops yet again.  Also the legendaries suck this time around which comes into play during the end game.  Because there isn’t any endgame without more to do in the world, and no cool legendaries to hunt or puzzles to solve.  All of the dungeons that were complex, difficult, and well themed exploration heavens have been removed from the game along with the legendaries they housed.  The game in total only takes 30 hours to beat going at a leisurely pace.  That is not worth 60$.  Coupled with the forgettable world and poorly designed progression drops the game’s value to 15$.  And that 15$ is only propped up by the fact that battling is still fun.  Watching your cute boys turn into bad boys is an experience that can’t be rivaled... For now.  The sad part is, the old games really are amazing.  They stand the test of time and they still make me hope that one day Pokemon gets it’s next generation upgrade like Zelda did with Breath of the Wild and Mario did with Odyssey.  Don’t buy this game until it is so cheap it’s basically free, because that is how it feels to play it  15$/60$.